Adults, especially women: If you suspect you have ADHD, go see a doctor. Before I was diagnosed I felt like such a failure, from missing deadlines to not being able to make to-do lists to bring flummoxed by the rules to complex card games my then-BF insisted I play with him.

Not being able to grasp how my brain worked cost me relationships, jobs, and long stretches of happiness. The solution isn’t always to get on medication; what’s more important is to realize that this is how your brain works and it doesn’t make you “defective.”

BEING, not BRING, in that original tweet. But for real: my long-term BF was really into Catan-style card and board games, and even just hearing the rules of play stressed me out and made me want to leave the room and hide. I fact, I did, and it made him angry at me.

“My brain doesn’t work this way and here’s a doctor’s diagnosis in case you insist on evidence. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you” would’ve alleviated a lot of tensions.

In case you want to know what being a 30-something with ADHD is like, I just spent an hour watching standup comedy routines from the ‘50s and reading up on the cultural nuances they were tapping into and whatever I’ll email my boss on Monday