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I've been thinking a lot about the definition of success this year.
As a society, we're often led to believe that success is doing what society "models" -- be it making six figures or buying a home or having kids or getting super fit or whatever else.
The list goes on and on.
As a society, we're often led to believe that success is doing what society "models" -- be it making six figures or buying a home or having kids or getting super fit or whatever else.
The list goes on and on.
And it's not restricted just to big picture goals or milestones.
There are unspoken rules and expectations for what achievements and events are worth celebrating along the way, who deserves to celebrate them to what extent, and what a successful celebration even looks like.
There are unspoken rules and expectations for what achievements and events are worth celebrating along the way, who deserves to celebrate them to what extent, and what a successful celebration even looks like.
For instance, we celebrate marriage and deem long-lasting ones a success, even if one or both people in the marriage are absolutely miserable and hanging on by a thread.
Meanwhile, we villainize separation and divorce even when it may lead to more peace and joy in the long run.
Meanwhile, we villainize separation and divorce even when it may lead to more peace and joy in the long run.
Similarly, we celebrate people for having white-collar jobs and for moving up the corporate ladder -- even if that's counter to what brings them actual satisfaction or meaning in their work.
Too often we conflate money with success, even over impact, personally and to the world.
Too often we conflate money with success, even over impact, personally and to the world.
This is not to say that these things aren't worth celebrating or don't deserve to be considered successes.
This is just to say that success, when all is said and done, is not something we can and should define societally.
Real success is personal.
This is just to say that success, when all is said and done, is not something we can and should define societally.
Real success is personal.
To feel successful our actions need to be aligned with our values.
It's great to make progress and check things off a list, but here's the thing: that won't mean much if it's someone else's (society's) list.
Maybe real success is just honoring and working towards our own lists?
It's great to make progress and check things off a list, but here's the thing: that won't mean much if it's someone else's (society's) list.
Maybe real success is just honoring and working towards our own lists?
Some questions I've been thinking about to help discover my "list":
What needs to be true in order for me to feel like my best self?
What are the things I would regret not doing most, when looking back in the rearview?
What would I want to do if I risked disappointing no one?
What needs to be true in order for me to feel like my best self?
What are the things I would regret not doing most, when looking back in the rearview?
What would I want to do if I risked disappointing no one?
