When I stress out I tend to kinda withdraw even from online interaction so aside from the occasional trip to the store Ive barely talked to anyone in weeks and it& #39;s hittin me a little

I really dont mean anything by this either, it& #39;s an problem of my own design
interacting with people is scary and exhausting but also like,, not interacting with people is lonely and and kinda hollowing too and Im unsure of how to fix myself or how to...be normal

Its a long running problem that isolation/the pandemic has only kindve made worse
I know therapy is probably the answer but like fuck I dont have health care and every time ive tried it in the past Ive never gotten anywhere. I just want to be able to function like a normal person

I& #39;ll delete this thread soon, I just... wanted to say it I guess

I fantasize about having a home and having a group of friends over and just... feeling comfortable for once in my life. Low level financial security and a secure social net and me not fucking it up, thats it